Apr 08, 2016

Top Ten Roles I’d LOVE to Play

Whenever I talk to friends (who haven’t yet played in any of our films) I ask them: If you’d have any role in any movie, what would it be? What’s your ideal role?

Thinking up articles for the new SWP site has brought this question back to me. What are the roles that I’d love to play? For me, it’s not about playing heroes. It’s about stretching the good ol’ “acting legs” 🙂 What would challenge me? What would be delightful? What would be fun?

So here’s my top ten movie and sketches roles I’d love to play, not counting the ones I’ve already played, like Aragorn or The Doctor — although I would gladly revisit those.

  • tta1010 – Cameos

One of the things I love to do when I plan out a script is find elegant ways of having cameos (roles played by friends who are awesome). I know that, by definition, a cameo is usually a role given to someone famous, but I’m not really going by that. If I like you, there’s a high chance I’ll offer you a cameo at one point.

That being said, I always found it thrilling when people offered me the chance to be in their productions. I’ve received many refusals when asking someone else, so usually I accept the roles that are offered to me. I know how difficult it can be to want a certain type of actor play a certain type of role, so I try my best not to disappoint. I also take them seriously.

For example, a few years ago I was asked by a friend to play a paranoid victim of an alien abduction. I went full in, with make-up to make me look sleepless (although that didn’t require too much acting :P) and liquid latex was used to show off a scar that I was supposed to have. Fun!


  • tta99 – Scientist

I like to look all professional and science-y while saying some smart-things which I don’t really understand. “Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow” is a Doctor Who classic. I still have no idea what it means and if it is indeed possible in any way to do that in real life. Probably not.

Still, spouting gibberish that sounds smart is really cool, plus you get to wear a cool labcoat. I don’t care if the character lives or dies… scientists are so interesting when then do both those things.


  • tta88 – Wizard

Alakazam! …and stuff like that. Who doesn’t want to be a wizard? Who doesn’t want to have a long beard and wave around his arms while cars explode and forests burn? Or even better, wounds get healed and enemies are vanquished?

Being a “Merlin” or even a “Jaffar” would be sooo much fun to play. The costume, the makeup, the voice! Wow, think of the voice! So many possibilities… do you go with a classical old-wise-man voice? Or do you bring something new and challenging to the part?

I saw some attempts at bringing new shows with this “magic” element present… but instead of making it magical, they focus on sex and really, REALLY bad jokes. Once I’m done with Plustard, maybe I should tackle this. Who knows?


  • tta77 – Mulder in an X-Files parody

I wrote a full script a few years ago. From A to Z. Unfortunately, the actress that was supposed to play my counterpart, Dana Scully, changed her mind and I didn’t want anyone else to replace her, mostly because the parody-version of Scully had been written for her.


Still, it would be hilarious to have the duo in a proper fun action movie. I’ve seen parodies of the X-Files along the years and none of them came even close to what I had in mind. Mostly because the jokes were infantile and the humor was, well, toilet-humor.

Having two characters that tackle each situation in all seriousness brings humor instantly. Why? Well, if I ever make this movie, you’ll probably find out. (image by firstfruits.tumblr.com)


  • tta66 – Villain

I’ve only played two villain parts in my life (Grima from the LOTR Parody and a sort of vizier in an Aladdin parody). Both were supposed to be funny and I couldn’t take it seriously. I wasn’t supposed to anyway.

A villain of any kind would help me explore my limits on this side of the acting spectrum. I never reaaaally played the bad guy in anything. This would be an interesting experience and something I’ve been eyeing for quite some time now.


  • tta55 – Customer (Parrot Sketch)

Now we’re starting to get a little more specific. Few people haven’t seen the Parrot sketch by Monty Python. It’s a classic.

John Cleese is, by far, one of my favorite actors and being able to play one of his roles, to bring tribute to this man who basically inspired me to make movies, would be amazing. Despite the fact that the setting is simple and wouldn’t require effects or anything special, this would prove to be a very useful exercise as well.

Most of our acting is made for the camera, not the stage. This sketch is half-and-half. 🙂 It’s difficult to explain, but the way you deliver the lines is… special. It’s not JUST for the camera… but it’s not for a stage-audience either. No matter what it is, it’s here on my list. Question is, if we ever do film it, would they sue us for copyright infringement? o.o


  • tta44 – Indiana Jones

Need I say more? Really now, I haven’t met a single man or woman who wouldn’t like to be the ultimate Hero. Due to my medical condition, I cannot really tackle physical roles. Still, the exercise would be good for me… as long as I don’t come out all bruised in the end, haha!

You’ll notice a tendency of “Hero goes looking for artefact” in all my movies. Or, at least, the old movies that you haven’t seen (and never will because they’re terrible). I grew up with Indy. Just last week, my girlfriend and I had a long conversation with the subject: “Why in the world would someone buy a $300 Indiana Jones hat?”

Heh, If I could, I’d buy it. Because Indy. Indiana Jones rulz.


  • tta33 – Animated Character for a Tim Burton Film

If it wasn’t for Tim Burton, we wouldn’t have Plustard. I know the connection is not evident… not now at least… but this man shaped my dark sense of humor.

Playing a role (voice) for one of his characters would be incredible. Every single one of his characters (at least in his older movies) is so colorful, full of personality. Give me the notes and I’ll try to sing too! I guess I can put Danny Elfman here as well, as he’s my favorite composer. I’d love to be able to sing in one of his songs, for a Burton Film.

Wouldn’t that be fun?


  • tta2 2 – Any Character that would play opposed to a Cool Actor

I want to learn. I need to diversify, to see what I like and what I don’t like… to feel how far I can go and where my limits are.

Don’t get me wrong, I love playing Plustard and Kauff, I loved playing the Doctor and Aragorn… but these are not very, very far from each other. Working opposed to someone like Hugh Jackman, Jim Carrey, Martin Freeman would be like a crash course in How-To-Act-Properly.

The whole acting/directing thing comes with a part of narcissism. It is inevitable. Being able to see someone do it better than me would bring a lesson of humbleness and there are moments in which I really feel like I need that. Don’t we all?

How else can I grow if not by learning from others?  (image by uno-duo.deviantart.com)


  • tta1 1 – Moriarty

I touched upon the villain role earlier, but this… this is very specific.

For those who don’t know the “Sherlock” series made by BBC, go now and watch it. This post contains spoilers. You’ve been warned. 🙂

Moriarty, as a character in this particular incarnation, would be a huge challenge. The rhythm, the voice, the emphasis he places upon words… I don’t think anyone could equal Andrew Scott.

Some parts of this role are insane, some are precisely calculated, it is in itself a wonderful storm of colors — matching nuances — that paints a scene in never before seen hues. The contrast, the dynamic (both interior and exterior) are absolutely astonishing.

I could learn so much from such a complex part. One wouldn’t simply delve into it. One would have to reach deep within oneself, seek and tackle his own darkness, while bringing to the surface just enough amount of “evil” to shape the performance. It is like dancing with your shadow, and letting it lead for a while.


Mihai and I talked about the possibility of a Sherlock tribute… but I really, really don’t look like Andrew Scott. :))) I can lose as much weight as I want, the facial features just don’t match. Still, I’d give it my best.


What about you? What roles would you play if you could play anything? 😀 Leave a reply in the comments and let’s talk!




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