14th March 2016
Dear Diary,
I’m not exactly sure what I did last night or where I’ve been, but I woke up in my pajamas again on some beach. I can’t remember much, but the whole area seems deserted. Found a pink pair of pants in a shed, so I put them on, I have no shame.
Then I found a can of beans. I smashed it open with a rock and, for some reason, that made half of the contents disappear in thin air. Awkward.
17th March 2016
Dear Diary,
My hand got stuck in a wall. It didn’t hurt and I considered chopping it off, but through the power of prayer I collapsed into a ball and woke up on the roof. I’m not sure how to get down from here.
24th March 2016
Dear Diary,
Saw a zombie today. Yep, a real zombie. Enunciation is not their primary skill. Hit him with a shovel. It was a good day.
2nd April 2016
Dear Diary,
Apparently, my motor-skills have been affected. I met a stranger for the first time today. I wanted to say hi and raise my hand in a friendly gesture. Unfortunately, somehow I managed to give him the finger instead.
He’s terribly cross with me now. Been running for hours and he’s still behind me.
7th April 2016
Dear Diary,
After all this time, days after days of crying in wet sheds and crawling through mud and garbage, I made myself quite a nifty little fort. I have food, ammo, clothes… I can start a fire and actually cook for myself! It is wonderful! Things are looking up! I may actually start to like it here!
7th April 2016 – 12 seconds later
I’m dead.